Sunday, December 27, 2009

Happy holidays!

Well, not too much new here.. Our Christmas was as usual, my mom surprised me by doing very well with our gifts. (that goes along way with my mom!!) I got a digtal picture frame from my love, 2 different sets of picture coasters, and a 3 peice picture frame set, with family and friends thing that goes in the front. I told him, he has to put another hole on both sides so i can put both in there... But I'm very happy with all the picture things, LOVE THEM!!!!! I of course also got my fashion bug card. I went and got close to $100 worth, but it came down to $67 and still got close to $8 bucks left.. I got 2 jeans, a shirt, and a sweater type thing *coat*..
.....
Mr Smarty Pants thought i'd be great to get rid of his desk and to get the desk from his parents. (not too bad of an idea I like the desk) however, it's not small enough for the space we have. So now since it's too big for this space, HE has to re-arrange everything tonight.. It's a small space and I won't have the internet for like an hour or two hopefully he won't screw it up too much...
...
Soo, the one job fell through since he had a job the guy said he hired this other dude cuz he didn't have a job.. Well little did he know that E was willing to cut back on his actual job and make that 2nd job his 1st since they give more hours and the start rate is better.. But o well that dudes lose, especially since the guy he hired is nothing but a loser anyway. He'll last for maybe a year if that. Thats probally giving him too much credit. Anyway.. He still has to call about another job, put in 2 apps at 2 other places we thought of. And He's going to go talk to dude tomorrow sometime I guess, to find out more about a position that would able him to run a resturnat. He worked there before, he done most of it before at this particular place. However, that wasn't his position to do then, so the pay didn't go well with that. Him and another guy were taking over for a guy that was out of work and they never got another guy to take over. (if this makes sence).. Soo now this position is actually open and is up for a salary rate. E wants to run a resturant soo bad, this would be a great oppertunity and I know he'd doing great at it. The benefits from it would be awesome as well. The pay, would allow us to be "OK" in life and live on our own..It'd give him a flexible but alot of hours to be put in, at times it'd be flexible. I am not sure if there are actual health benefits... We'd get a discount on hotels, and be able to take weekend or weekday trips. AND AND AND!!!! Eheheheh, since it's a choice hotel, we'd possibly get a discount on our wedding reception now I'm keen on the idea of NOT having it at that hotel however I want it at the holiday inn near the casino which is also the winter circle so I am sure we'd be able to pull some strings there!! ooo Soo excited!!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRAY That he gets this job. We need this soo baddly the main reason is so we can finially live on our own and live OUR lives and be able to be a "family" and then that will also help when we go get the boys.. Doesn't look well when we live with my parents in a 2 bedroom and trying to get custody of the boys. that wouldn't work good..
..
Speaking of which.. Christmas Eve!! We decieded to get them something. being 5 yrs since he's been in there live of any contact he has no idea what they are into. No idea what size they are however, we know they are still slender and about weist hight or a tad taller (from pictures I saw on the mom's myspace hehehe).. anyway. We got them a pant set and the same size so if anything it's too big. I didn't realize how hard it is to shop for boys you don't know what they like. For a girl hell all you got to do is buy a barbie or a doll and they'd be happy lol.. Soo anyway, I wrapped them up in the boxes and then we copied the court papers and I wrapped them up in a box for the mom. The point was to make her know she is in contempt and he's not playing so he will take it to court.. (as soon as we can afford our own place and afford a laywer payment every month WE WILL take it to court) but she doesn't need to know that part. She is in contempt them papers were to remind her that, that custody/visitiation arrangment still stands after this long. They are still in the vaild and mean something. Now we have no clue if she would even allow the boys to unwrap or even keep the clothing and all we know and can smile about a little is that she definitally was "bit&ching" up a storm and we possibly ruined her day. So that makes him smile knowing how harsh she has been. I know it hurts him soo much. It hurts me not knowing what to do, now understanding what can be done. I come from a family that my parents are married and we don't have to go through the courts or visitations.. He's from a mixed family, not that, that makes it any easier but it makes it a little more understanding. I think..
...
Over all We had a great Christmas and was able to get eachother something, thinking we were getting nothing. So it was nice. We are starting to save little by little. I got approved for the medical card so that will help with my BC and cut back on that "bill" so thats extra money we can save every month....

Hoping 2010 is way better then 2009. IT's starting off better alrady so thats a good thing. 2008 didn't end so well so that kinda made the point that 2009 wasn't going to be a good year. If 2009 continues to end on a good/decent note, that I hope will mean 2010 will be a better year then 2009. And of course 2011 is right around the corner and will be even a BETTER YEAR!! SInce we are getting married then..
April will be here before we know it and thats the earliest we can put a deposit on our venue. I want to talk to the pastor as well to try and figure out what needs to be done (paid) for so we can use him and the church to get married.
Alright well I have to take my aunt home so I will blog again some other time.





aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why would any normal parent allow their children or child run continuely throughout an upstairs apartment.. ALL DAY AND NIGHT!!! When they wake me up at 746am you know they are loud I'm HARD TO WAKE UP.. I sleep sound. They were at it then and again I heard them at a little before 9 and throught out the afternoon, and now they are at it even louder before 9PM!!! aaahhh

OK vent done there bye

Thursday, December 24, 2009

HAPPY AND BLESSINGS!!!

It's Christmas Eve.. My last blog was sorta harsh in a way.. I just want to say that the last week and days without them in my life, no texts, no myspace no facebook.. I can't see a thing they say they can't see a thing I say.. It has been FANTASTIC!!! No more rubing in my face, ahaha i have my own place. Soo yea. its been very nice.
I had gotten such great news? I got the medical card and will be getting help in the way I need to.. My pain today has been surprisingly low. Of course until I sat on the floor to wrap gifts.
I was able to get some money to buy a few things I am so happy I didn't have to go without wrapping gifts this year. Not nearly as much as usual but at least I was able to. Its the thought that counts.
I can't believe it's Christmas already omgosh!!!
Soo things are on a roll. E and I are GREAT and are soo happy. We are moving along just great. There are 2 things missing and we have to work on them slowly but surely.. One of course is getting our own place.. We can't afford anything right now without my income.. Praying he gets another job to help in that ara. Once we get a place. Then it will set forth what we have to do to get the boys. He has gone 5 yrs without seeing them. Yes 3 yrs was his fault, he paid for that. Last year and this year Was not his fault. He mentioned to me about getting something for each one and wrapping them and taking them and putting it on the prouch out there. So we'll be traveling out that way tonight when he gets off work. Now just hope she actually gives the gifts to the boys. And then she gets a little present as well. A note, along with the custdoy/visitation papers that are still good and to show she is in contempt and he is not playing anymore. 2010 will be a NEW FRESH YEAR.. It will be OUR YEAR.. The year leading up to our marriage, the year for him to be the father he's acheing to be to them wonderful 2 children he hasn't seen in so long. His heart breaks every holiday and birthday.. And days between. Being with him almost 2 yrs and I have yet to meet them.

Ok well, I gotta go chop some celery for my mom.. Well and everyone they don't want big chunks lol.. soo it's my duty..
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!
I will try to update again soon..

MUCH LOVE, SAFE TRAVELS AND HAVE A BLESSED DAY!! And HAPPY NEW YEAR!! May it be a BETTER year for us All!!!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

ugh

times are tough for alot of people, and with true love and support from the selective few friends and family, anyone can get through them tough times.
It doesn't really help when so called friends talk shit behind your back and you just know it;s about you. It hurts but you know what I'm slowly learning that I just don't care anymore thats why they are so called friends and not real true friends. I have not talked to this person in quite sometime. I always get texts asking about stuff that doesn't really concern them. I don't care anymore. I share what I want to share on my blogs, and my facebook, myspace Extra. If there are things I don't want people to know then I simply do not let everyone know. I know where to draw the line. People should not judge others based on status messages. I think that is just ridiculous.
Anyway.. I am very happy with my life. nothing is perfect, nothing will ever be perfect. We all have bad days, we all have bad weeks.. Well, I had my fair share of a really bad 2 days this week but Life goes on. I do not care how much you are playing the system and for you to be proud of that and to announce that, is just beyound me..I do not care you cleaned YOUR OWN place. Was that very nessacry that you had to cap "MY OWN" no i don't think so but obviously you felt the need to point the fact out. Well guess what, you don't live my life and until you do don't judge it. You want my life, fine be my guess.. I will be you,.. I will be a loving mother to a beautiful little girl, and I'd tell your mom where to go too.. The only thing is, I wouldn't want your life due to the fact ALOT of people HATE,--DISLIKE you..
Only a selective few people don't like me and well some just don't like me cuz they wish they were me or wish they had something-someone I had or have.. Jealousy gets you no where in life.
I often envied my best friend, she always seemed soo happy, was always with the guys.. blah blah.. But you know in the end she finially found her true happiness, has 3 wonderful children, and I would not want to be her.. I am proud of her, I no longer envy the fact that I didn't have that. I wasn't ment to have that, to be heart broken, to be a mom at 18.. NONE OF THIS IS BAD!! IT just made her grow up faster then I would want to. IF that makes sence?
I like being her best friend, being there for her through everything and anything, being there for her to talk to, to hang out with, and just to be there. I enjoy every moment we get to share. I look forward for her to be there for me for my wedding. I look forward to having a child maybe at the same time she has another. I just look forward to her advice and help along the way since she's been through all that.
This is pretty much just babble.. I am just really fed up with crap with certain people. I want to just delete them off my pages and just forget about them. I will come the new year. Until then MERRY CHRISTMAS TO THE HATERS!! US LOVERS TO LOVE YOU!! (well maybe) lol..

I may not have "MY OWN" place to clean, but I don't care.. One day I will have my own place and it will be better then yours because it's MINE!! The fact that My FI and I worked hard to get it no matter if it's an apartment, a house, a mansion whatever, it will be OURS and I will be proud of that. Something is yours but yet you do not have to work for it. you pay like 20 bucks a month for rent, yea in that case, I would have my own place..

AAAAHHHHHHH
done vent...


Life goes on.. The new year will begin a GOOD new year.. Lots of planning to finially put together, after we do get our own place.. My parents will be moving out of state.. E and I will finially be on our own.. It won't be soo new to him, but it will be very very very much new to me.. I look forward to being able to decorate my very own place, and to plan my wedding with my girls and to go dress shopping, I look forward to the shopping the most.. I hope it all goes well. And of course trying to get the deposit down on the hotel by the end of May.. October will be here before we know it and it will be a year away.. OMGOSH!!! I can not wait.. I just pray things go well over the next few weeks and things will just be fantastic.. I will delete the haters and continue to love my life and my family and my best friend, my girls, and of course MY MAN!!!!!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Kentucky

I'm here in Kentucky the TRI State of the world hehe.. Spending time with my grandparents and my parents, and boyfriend. It's so peaceful here, no worries, no drama. Just PEACEFULL..
Enjoying every moment even if it seems boring... it's very percious to me to have my grandparents around.. They are 87 n 88, soon 88 n 89.. Been married 65 yrs July 5th.. I want that love always and forever.. A couple who briefly met, starting "courting" In April and married that July.. it's amazing!! they still share that special bond and love they did soo many years ago.. I just can't explain it.
I'm hoping to get pictures down near the river tomorrow, we leave tomorrow night/Thursday morning.. So we can be back home around 6pm Thursday evening.. Earl works at 9am Friday monring.. it's going to be a LONG day n night tomorrow.. Going to the crack barrel tomorrow evening for dinner and saying cya later.. or cya in July.. NOT GOOD BYE!! I don't ever want to say GOOD BYE TO MY GRANDPARENTS!!! I know no one ever wants to say that to anyone..
Sooo going to the great famous Golden Carrol once again today in about 2 hrs.. we've been there 2x's already going again today.. tryin not to snack on anything before we go and I'm tryin not to take a nap becuz i'll just be grouchy if I do...
Pics to come...
Back home Friday will start everything, more filling out apps, calling places, and offically signing up for Pampered Chef.. Anyone interested? Let me know.. if you want to go to a party or host a party..
I can use all the help you're willing to give and I'm sure you'd love to have all the free gifts you get for hosting!!


Theres been some things on my mind that been bothering me lately I just can't seem to be able to talk to him about it.. I mean I had mentioned it a few times but he probally thinks I'm joking around when I mention it.. It bugs me more and more some days then other days I don't think about it at all.. but Lately when it comes to mind it's very strong and I just don't know what to do to make myself realize it's not right yet and not going to happen..
I now need a job and we definitally need our own place.. and I really want to be married before it happens.. I think I'd regret it if it were to happen unplanned before marriage.. maybe not soo much if it were planned but I don't forsee it to be planned before we're married.. thats the right thing to do is wait til we are married and thats what I want!!
I just want it now.. I feel as if I'm being selffish when I feel like this and say this..
Maybe some can figure it out but I'm not going into it word for word..


ANYWAY.. thats about it..

OO yea to vent a little bit my mother is driving me NUTS!!!!
I'm a 120% daddy's girl and like 1% momma's girl.. if that.. She just seems to get worse and worse.. Thank God I have this time to spend with Earl...

OK LOTS OF LOVE!!


good luck and congrats to those who are out there reading this..


much love
BYES

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

changes are good

In the last 4 months things have changed for the better. I was out on medical leave from work.. to only go back for about 2 weeks and end up quiting for reasons that pile up.. mostly due to my pshycial ability to perform my job duties, I felt as if I couldn't do my best anymore and it was just time.. My hunny got a car, which means our next step will be getting our own place.. Planning a wedding and just thinking about even trying to save for our wedding is stressful.. but I know it comes with the terriorty of wedding planning/wanting....
Going to be signing up for Pampered Chef On Thursday or Friday of Next week.. We leave for Kentucky tomorrow night..
I am excited to get away for a week and to see my grandparents.. I have such a bad headache right now..
been looking for another job, filled out a few applications but going to try this out for a bit no hurry on anything if this goes well that is.. if not then back to job hunting at least if I do get a phone call down the line, I will try to continue doing PC as well as working.. I hope I can do this.. it sounds like alot..
I get to watch the Duggers tonight :-d Josh's wife's takin a HPTest ahaha :-d
I'm sure many out there know the show 18 kids and counting!! I LOVE IT!!

ooo I saw FireProff it was AWESOME... very very meaningful... I will make Earl watch it again later he watched it this time with me but I'll have him watch Facing the giants and FireProff later own again before we get married..

soo what else? not in much pain anymore thank goodness. had 3 shots, they are relieving pain I know I still have hernaited discs but not in as much pain which is great and I can move and be myself again.. thats another good thing about doing Pampered Chef I make my own hours realy and it's only maybe 3 hrs 3-4 nights a week if that.. I can't wait for our own place, We really need to get away from here.. people are making me upset counting on Earl and I to do this and that and if he doesn't do it, and more then likely I'm not doing it.. it just will not get done..
o well, I would love to know whats going to happen when Earl and I are in Kentucky for the next week and the dishes pile up in the sink and the garbage isn't taken out.. I'd like to know what will happen then.. but only time will tell.. they will realize Earl's the only one that does this stuff.. and I help with the dishes....I was doing them ALL THE TIME for a while, and while i was in pain at that.. then I just boycotted them cuz NO ONE was helping.. soo forget it.. soo pretty much since that I done them a few times, however especially since I been back to work (besides quiting) I only did them, helping Earl while doing them or did them while Earl took the trash out or something... they are piling up downstairs others were in the house today that won't bother and Earl and I were out doing what we needed to do..

AAHH I could go on and on.. VENTING thats what this is for right?

anyway..
show is set to be May 14th still figuring out a time and place..
signing up for sure next week.. Birthday in 2 weeks..
and will have a mini kit by then soo I can get started.. Wish me luck and THANK YOU ALL..
Comments welcome.......