Happy holidays!

Well, not too much new here.. Our Christmas was as usual, my mom surprised me by doing very well with our gifts. (that goes along way with my mom!!) I got a digtal picture frame from my love, 2 different sets of picture coasters, and a 3 peice picture frame set, with family and friends thing that goes in the front. I told him, he has to put another hole on both sides so i can put both in there... But I'm very happy with all the picture things, LOVE THEM!!!!! I of course also got my fashion bug card. I went and got close to $100 worth, but it came down to $67 and still got close to $8 bucks left.. I got 2 jeans, a shirt, and a sweater type thing *coat*..
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Mr Smarty Pants thought i'd be great to get rid of his desk and to get the desk from his parents. (not too bad of an idea I like the desk) however, it's not small enough for the space we have. So now since it's too big for this space, HE has to re-arrange everything tonight.. It's a small space and I won't have the internet for like an hour or two hopefully he won't screw it up too much...
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Soo, the one job fell through since he had a job the guy said he hired this other dude cuz he didn't have a job.. Well little did he know that E was willing to cut back on his actual job and make that 2nd job his 1st since they give more hours and the start rate is better.. But o well that dudes lose, especially since the guy he hired is nothing but a loser anyway. He'll last for maybe a year if that. Thats probally giving him too much credit. Anyway.. He still has to call about another job, put in 2 apps at 2 other places we thought of. And He's going to go talk to dude tomorrow sometime I guess, to find out more about a position that would able him to run a resturnat. He worked there before, he done most of it before at this particular place. However, that wasn't his position to do then, so the pay didn't go well with that. Him and another guy were taking over for a guy that was out of work and they never got another guy to take over. (if this makes sence).. Soo now this position is actually open and is up for a salary rate. E wants to run a resturant soo bad, this would be a great oppertunity and I know he'd doing great at it. The benefits from it would be awesome as well. The pay, would allow us to be "OK" in life and live on our own..It'd give him a flexible but alot of hours to be put in, at times it'd be flexible. I am not sure if there are actual health benefits... We'd get a discount on hotels, and be able to take weekend or weekday trips. AND AND AND!!!! Eheheheh, since it's a choice hotel, we'd possibly get a discount on our wedding reception now I'm keen on the idea of NOT having it at that hotel however I want it at the holiday inn near the casino which is also the winter circle so I am sure we'd be able to pull some strings there!! ooo Soo excited!!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRAY That he gets this job. We need this soo baddly the main reason is so we can finially live on our own and live OUR lives and be able to be a "family" and then that will also help when we go get the boys.. Doesn't look well when we live with my parents in a 2 bedroom and trying to get custody of the boys. that wouldn't work good..
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Speaking of which.. Christmas Eve!! We decieded to get them something. being 5 yrs since he's been in there live of any contact he has no idea what they are into. No idea what size they are however, we know they are still slender and about weist hight or a tad taller (from pictures I saw on the mom's myspace hehehe).. anyway. We got them a pant set and the same size so if anything it's too big. I didn't realize how hard it is to shop for boys you don't know what they like. For a girl hell all you got to do is buy a barbie or a doll and they'd be happy lol.. Soo anyway, I wrapped them up in the boxes and then we copied the court papers and I wrapped them up in a box for the mom. The point was to make her know she is in contempt and he's not playing so he will take it to court.. (as soon as we can afford our own place and afford a laywer payment every month WE WILL take it to court) but she doesn't need to know that part. She is in contempt them papers were to remind her that, that custody/visitiation arrangment still stands after this long. They are still in the vaild and mean something. Now we have no clue if she would even allow the boys to unwrap or even keep the clothing and all we know and can smile about a little is that she definitally was "bit&ching" up a storm and we possibly ruined her day. So that makes him smile knowing how harsh she has been. I know it hurts him soo much. It hurts me not knowing what to do, now understanding what can be done. I come from a family that my parents are married and we don't have to go through the courts or visitations.. He's from a mixed family, not that, that makes it any easier but it makes it a little more understanding. I think..
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Over all We had a great Christmas and was able to get eachother something, thinking we were getting nothing. So it was nice. We are starting to save little by little. I got approved for the medical card so that will help with my BC and cut back on that "bill" so thats extra money we can save every month....

Hoping 2010 is way better then 2009. IT's starting off better alrady so thats a good thing. 2008 didn't end so well so that kinda made the point that 2009 wasn't going to be a good year. If 2009 continues to end on a good/decent note, that I hope will mean 2010 will be a better year then 2009. And of course 2011 is right around the corner and will be even a BETTER YEAR!! SInce we are getting married then..
April will be here before we know it and thats the earliest we can put a deposit on our venue. I want to talk to the pastor as well to try and figure out what needs to be done (paid) for so we can use him and the church to get married.
Alright well I have to take my aunt home so I will blog again some other time.





aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why would any normal parent allow their children or child run continuely throughout an upstairs apartment.. ALL DAY AND NIGHT!!! When they wake me up at 746am you know they are loud I'm HARD TO WAKE UP.. I sleep sound. They were at it then and again I heard them at a little before 9 and throught out the afternoon, and now they are at it even louder before 9PM!!! aaahhh

OK vent done there bye

HAPPY AND BLESSINGS!!!

It's Christmas Eve.. My last blog was sorta harsh in a way.. I just want to say that the last week and days without them in my life, no texts, no myspace no facebook.. I can't see a thing they say they can't see a thing I say.. It has been FANTASTIC!!! No more rubing in my face, ahaha i have my own place. Soo yea. its been very nice.
I had gotten such great news? I got the medical card and will be getting help in the way I need to.. My pain today has been surprisingly low. Of course until I sat on the floor to wrap gifts.
I was able to get some money to buy a few things I am so happy I didn't have to go without wrapping gifts this year. Not nearly as much as usual but at least I was able to. Its the thought that counts.
I can't believe it's Christmas already omgosh!!!
Soo things are on a roll. E and I are GREAT and are soo happy. We are moving along just great. There are 2 things missing and we have to work on them slowly but surely.. One of course is getting our own place.. We can't afford anything right now without my income.. Praying he gets another job to help in that ara. Once we get a place. Then it will set forth what we have to do to get the boys. He has gone 5 yrs without seeing them. Yes 3 yrs was his fault, he paid for that. Last year and this year Was not his fault. He mentioned to me about getting something for each one and wrapping them and taking them and putting it on the prouch out there. So we'll be traveling out that way tonight when he gets off work. Now just hope she actually gives the gifts to the boys. And then she gets a little present as well. A note, along with the custdoy/visitation papers that are still good and to show she is in contempt and he is not playing anymore. 2010 will be a NEW FRESH YEAR.. It will be OUR YEAR.. The year leading up to our marriage, the year for him to be the father he's acheing to be to them wonderful 2 children he hasn't seen in so long. His heart breaks every holiday and birthday.. And days between. Being with him almost 2 yrs and I have yet to meet them.

Ok well, I gotta go chop some celery for my mom.. Well and everyone they don't want big chunks lol.. soo it's my duty..
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!
I will try to update again soon..

MUCH LOVE, SAFE TRAVELS AND HAVE A BLESSED DAY!! And HAPPY NEW YEAR!! May it be a BETTER year for us All!!!

ugh

times are tough for alot of people, and with true love and support from the selective few friends and family, anyone can get through them tough times.
It doesn't really help when so called friends talk shit behind your back and you just know it;s about you. It hurts but you know what I'm slowly learning that I just don't care anymore thats why they are so called friends and not real true friends. I have not talked to this person in quite sometime. I always get texts asking about stuff that doesn't really concern them. I don't care anymore. I share what I want to share on my blogs, and my facebook, myspace Extra. If there are things I don't want people to know then I simply do not let everyone know. I know where to draw the line. People should not judge others based on status messages. I think that is just ridiculous.
Anyway.. I am very happy with my life. nothing is perfect, nothing will ever be perfect. We all have bad days, we all have bad weeks.. Well, I had my fair share of a really bad 2 days this week but Life goes on. I do not care how much you are playing the system and for you to be proud of that and to announce that, is just beyound me..I do not care you cleaned YOUR OWN place. Was that very nessacry that you had to cap "MY OWN" no i don't think so but obviously you felt the need to point the fact out. Well guess what, you don't live my life and until you do don't judge it. You want my life, fine be my guess.. I will be you,.. I will be a loving mother to a beautiful little girl, and I'd tell your mom where to go too.. The only thing is, I wouldn't want your life due to the fact ALOT of people HATE,--DISLIKE you..
Only a selective few people don't like me and well some just don't like me cuz they wish they were me or wish they had something-someone I had or have.. Jealousy gets you no where in life.
I often envied my best friend, she always seemed soo happy, was always with the guys.. blah blah.. But you know in the end she finially found her true happiness, has 3 wonderful children, and I would not want to be her.. I am proud of her, I no longer envy the fact that I didn't have that. I wasn't ment to have that, to be heart broken, to be a mom at 18.. NONE OF THIS IS BAD!! IT just made her grow up faster then I would want to. IF that makes sence?
I like being her best friend, being there for her through everything and anything, being there for her to talk to, to hang out with, and just to be there. I enjoy every moment we get to share. I look forward for her to be there for me for my wedding. I look forward to having a child maybe at the same time she has another. I just look forward to her advice and help along the way since she's been through all that.
This is pretty much just babble.. I am just really fed up with crap with certain people. I want to just delete them off my pages and just forget about them. I will come the new year. Until then MERRY CHRISTMAS TO THE HATERS!! US LOVERS TO LOVE YOU!! (well maybe) lol..

I may not have "MY OWN" place to clean, but I don't care.. One day I will have my own place and it will be better then yours because it's MINE!! The fact that My FI and I worked hard to get it no matter if it's an apartment, a house, a mansion whatever, it will be OURS and I will be proud of that. Something is yours but yet you do not have to work for it. you pay like 20 bucks a month for rent, yea in that case, I would have my own place..

AAAAHHHHHHH
done vent...


Life goes on.. The new year will begin a GOOD new year.. Lots of planning to finially put together, after we do get our own place.. My parents will be moving out of state.. E and I will finially be on our own.. It won't be soo new to him, but it will be very very very much new to me.. I look forward to being able to decorate my very own place, and to plan my wedding with my girls and to go dress shopping, I look forward to the shopping the most.. I hope it all goes well. And of course trying to get the deposit down on the hotel by the end of May.. October will be here before we know it and it will be a year away.. OMGOSH!!! I can not wait.. I just pray things go well over the next few weeks and things will just be fantastic.. I will delete the haters and continue to love my life and my family and my best friend, my girls, and of course MY MAN!!!!!